The newcomer from Pune - a Mumbai story

I read this sometime in the Times of India, when it was a more interesting newspaper, in the late 80's.

A nice, young Mr Bhatavdekar, a pucca Bahman from Pune, took the Daccan ki Rani for the first time in his life, and landed up in Mumbai, again for the first time in his life. So Mr. B got down at Dadar station and decided to take the local train to Mahim, his destination, as had been advised by Bahman friends from Pune. And so Mr. B moved to the local train platform and waited for the train, and when the train to Borivli came, he jumped in happily, praising his own smart self for saving some money, by taking the train when a taxi would have easily cost 10 times more.
Then B remembered that he needed to get down too, so he asked the bhaiya who had been shoving his chameli ka tel lathered head into Bs nose, "Where it is coming? Mahim station? When it is coming?" Bhaiya looked up and smiled, his yellow teeth faintly reminiscent of cows, his look of contentment bovine. B figured that Bhaiya needed more details, so "Mahim station kabhi ayega?" Enlightenment in Bhaiyas eyes and laughter too! And suddenly people around B were also laughing. Then Bhaiya said, "fast train Mahim not stop". B parsed the sentence, understood the implications, figured this was an unplanned for and unforseen situation, and nearly wet his pants. The look of terror on his face turned Bhaiya from condescension to sympathy, and did the same for everyone around. Bhaiya asked "Local train, first time? Mumbai first time?" B nodded his head, Bhaiya clucked in pity, others heard the cluck and a general series of clucks erupted in the compartment.
Then Bhaiya decided to help. He said "Worry not. Me travel this fast train full time. You get down Mahim" Hope sprang in B's eyes, his bladder retreated from its position of war. Bhaiya continued, "This train, all time, slow very much at Mahim station, very very slow very much. u ready to jump on platform when i tell JUMP. careful, train is moving, so after jump u r running for few seconds along with train, then u no fall down". B considered parsed the sentence, considered the implications, and his bladder announced its intentions again. Bhaiya saw the look and said "no worry too much, many people jump running train, ask, relax" B looked around, saw the crowd sagely nodded its collective head, and once again bladder retreated. Then Bhaiya said, "Mahim station coming, u and i stand doorway, u jump when i say JUMP, and run with train for few minutes, no run, fall down, run, no fall down, so run with train. u jump and run with train. ok?" B figured it made sense in terms of newtons laws to do what bhaiya was emphasizing so much and thanked his lucky stars that he was young and yogaing everyday.
Then then it was time to do what no B had done before. B's excitement began building up, he got into position at doorway, and Bhaiya was next to him, priming him to make the leap. B got ready, Mahim station arrived, and GODS BE PRAISED, the train began to slow down.
Now here's the scene, B at the doorway, a coiled spring ready to burst out, Bhaiya also tense, murmuring last moment advice, B's eyes only on the approaching platform, his ears waiting for the magic word, the platform arriving and thr train slowing down... and then Bhaiya screamed "JUMP" and the coiled spring burst into action - he leaped off the train, his hands and legs pumping as he tried to keep pace with the train... and he'd made it! B was off the train, he was alive and he was in Mahim station. Then the train slowed down more, and B ran faster, and then the train slowed down even more, and B ran even faster, and then B was outpacing the train! And Bhaiya saw B running past the his compartment, the spindly legs pumpin, the hair flyin, the moustache twitchin, and Bhaiya felt a surge of pride at a job well done. Ad as Bhaiya kept looking, B was well past his compartment and was actually getting close to the compartment ahead! And before Bhaiya could say Carl Lewis, B was running next to the compartment ahead, where Tambi was standing at the door.
Now Tambi was a strong young strapping lad who really liked helping others. So when Tambi saw this guy running wildly next to his doorway, Tambi did what any helpful man would always do, he leaned out, caught an arm and pulled him in!
And B was on his way to Bandra, Bhaiya was slapping his forehead, and Tambi was confused about what this Ghati was screaming at him, when he had only helped the fella.